Honor Your Desire to be Claimed!

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If you have a desire to have a meaningful, purposeful relationship, a relationship that really glorifies God, a relationship that is fulfilling and exciting and passionate and purposeful where you feel connection… if that is your desire, I want you to know that there’s no honor lost.
There is no vanity in that. Having a desire for that is not shallow. I want you to know this because your life is on the line, and it’s time for you to get urgent about your love life. It’s time for you to get urgent about what you are creating next because the masses would have you believe that being productive is what it’s all about. For the feminine woman, it’s all about connection. That is a core need. Under food, shelter, water, connection. Connection is important.
I think about the simple things that you’re really craving right now. I think about playing up this pregnancy, where I can call my husband and be like, “Baaaaaaby! Come here, baby!” He’s like, “What is it?! What is it?!”
I’m like, “Can you bring me some water? Oh and can you get that blanket right there on the floor please?” He’s like, “You playing the role, Monique,” and I’m like, “Yeah, well, you know, I am. I’m gonna take advantage of it right now.”
Those are the simple things I know you desire… to have someone to tell you that you’re lovely and they like your hair, and congratulations on the promotion, or just to share what work was like or to come home and not have to talk about work, but just to be held and to Netflix and chill.

When I ask potential clients, “On a scale of one to 10, how urgent is this for you in order to be able to change what’s happening in your life right now to bring you closer to the results that you want?”
I hear a lot of sevens, a lot of fives, a lot sixes, and I’m asking, “Well, why not a 10?”
What I hear is that, “Well, I don’t wanna seem too desperate,” or, “I’m human. I have this fear of being rejected.” Listen, I get it. I hear you.
But, you have to get beasty about what it is that you want. You have to honor your desire to be claimed because if you don’t, nothing is going change for you.
I can remember the feeling of rejection.
In 2006, I entered the Miss Michigan USA pageant, and I didn’t really have the money. All these girls had grown up in pageantry, and sure, I had entered a few pageants here and there, but not to this level that could take me to Miss USA.
I had this big vision of what that could be like, and it took a lot of money that I really didn’t have.

 

thought, “Well, maybe I can get some sponsorships.” I just had this idea, “Maybe somebody will want to support me. I don’t know.” I saw other girls had been doing it, but I didn’t know the back end of what that would look like. I just Googled some stuff, and I was like, “Okay, well maybe I can see what it’s like.”
Anyway, I remember calling this car dealership, and there was a woman, who was maybe just a few years older than me. And I remember thinking, “This girl ain’t gonna give me no money. She just …”
See, I had this idea that black women don’t really support each other and that she might be hating, but I called, and she was interested.
I just called even though I had this fear of rejection.
I was scared to call people to say, “Hey, this is what I’m doing. Would you like to be a part of it? Would you like to support this? This is what you get. This is the benefit that you get.” Anyhow, I remember calling, and she seemed interested, and I went in to meet them, and that girl, from the dealership, gave me $250, which was Emerald level sponsorship.
I was so blown away, because in my mind, I had all of these stories about who she was and what she wasn’t going to do.
Wow. Talk about squashing all my disbelief.
I had gone from feeling stuck and not knowing what to do, to fear of rejection, to actually just stepping into it.
This is what I’m talking about, leaning into the discomfort. Lean into it because you don’t know what’s on the other side of that. Because the desire was there, I knew that somebody had to give.

 

I knew it was really a number’s game, and somebody had to cave in and support, just by sheer numbers because I know that these businesses have money for marketing purposes, but I thought maybe they wouldn’t understand how supporting a girl who wants to do a pageant would help their business.
I collected that experience as evidence that people do want to support. And, just by making the call boosted my confidence and boosted my belief.
You see, there’s this thing, I think it’s called belief bias or confirmation bias, where you collect the evidence for what you want. Scripture says, “You will be proved right in what you say.”
What would it take for you to begin to collect the evidence that supports the belief of the good in your life?
Sure, there’s going to be good and bad. That’s the law of polarity. Forces come in pairs, but how can you separate that and really adhere to the good for what it is that you want because the truth is, is that there’s a war going on, and your fear … is evidence … that there’s two worlds going on.
I was listening to a Bishop TD Jakes sermon and he said, “no robber robs an empty house.”
Here why I’m sharing this with you.
The fact that you have a fear is evidence that there is something greater for you on the other side because no robber robs an empty house. In the Scripture when Peter walked on water, he was like, “Hey, is that you, Lord?”
I’m summarizing. He was like, “Hey, is that you, Lord?” He was like, “Well, if it’s you, call me out,” and so he began. He stepped out of the boat, into the water, and he was walking, and then guess what happened? He looked at the environment around him, and the waves were starting to blow more swiftly, harder, briskly, more abrupt. The winds were harsh. Then Peter lost it.
Jesus was like, “Why did you doubt?”
Oh my gosh. (Insert tears) Let God’s Word be true and every man a liar. The Word is powerful and mighty and sharper than any two-edged sword.
What you want is for you, and just like my friend Nicole said, this isn’t like woo-woo. This is more like wifi.
Let God’s Word be true because here’s what I know… You believe in God, but you don’t believe God. Because if you did, you would let his Word be true, meaning that you get to be in belief. You get to be in choice. It’s not like God’s Word is true for everyone.

 

Let God’s Word be true in your won life and every man a liar because it is written, and anything that is written is more established. The Word of God must come to pass because God is faithful. Even though people may be unfaithful, God is faithful.
Your past experiences would have you to believe that what you want isn’t for you, and then you become under attack. What you want is real and is not a shallow desire.
There are five skills that every woman needs in order to become an irresistible magnet for her desires. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just the way that you think.
The prerequisite of those skills that I teach in the Feminine Allure Academy … requires you to strengthen your mindset.
Release unwanted thoughts and master self-talk so that you can move forward and bring you closer not only to be a powerful woman and feel really confident in your belief to attract good men, to feel like you can sustain a relationship, but man, to bring about the harvest in your life.
One skill is that you have to show active faith. You have to show active faith! That’s a skill. I’m just sharing you one of the five.
This is your assignment: Show active faith by preparing for the thing that you’ve asked for.
I believe it was Daniel who prayed to God, and there was 21 days delay because there was a spiritual warfare going on. It didn’t come to pass until the 21st day, unless I’m mistaken. But don’t take my word for it. Read the Scripture and see what it says. You can Google it on Bible Gateway. The prayers were heard, but because of what was happening in the atmosphere, it did not come to pass until 21 days, at least 21 days.
I’m saying this to say that your words have power. Allow your words to be your wand, full of magic and power, because that’s where it starts. Start to use winning words because you can have this girl. They have power. It creates a vibration.
I hope this information served you. Your words. Use your word as your wand. Stand and honor your desire to be claimed. It’s not a shallow desire

How to Identify a Relationship Ready Man

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If a man tells you that he’s ready to settle down, but doesn’t settle down with you, don’t think that he’s lying and then give up on men just because you can’t find a quality man who’s “honest.”

With that mindset, you’ll set him up for the next woman.

Show yourself to be quality woman, a woman worth having. Then, you can have your pick!

A man can tell you he wants to settle down and get married, but the key is that you have to discern if he wants a relationship with YOU.

Here are 3 signs to Know If a Man is Ready for a Relationship with YOU.

Just like we women are able to send out signals, men also leave clues. But, it’s up to you to discern and to identify what you really want. Because if you don’t know what you want, it’s easier for you to fall for anything.

The first sign is consistency. A relationship-ready man, a man who is ready for a relationship with you, I should say, because he could be relationship-ready, but he may not choose you, and that’s just the real of it.

A man who is relationship-ready and he has chosen you, and then you get to choose him back, he’s going to be consistent. He’s going to call you regularly, he’s going to show himself. AND, he is also going to be consistent in his own life.

The primary thing, especially in the early stages this is: “Is he calling you regularly?” even if it’s once a week, given his work schedule.

I couldn’t go for once a week. I remember when my husband and I were just seeing each other, I hinted something like, “You know you only call me every three days.” He was like, “Somebody else told me that.” Then, he started calling me more regular, even though I was saying that in jest.

I was used to speaking to the men in my life every day and that was a personal requirement… to just tap in. That’s number one… how consistent is he in interacting with you, making plans, going out?

The second piece of evidence of a relationship-ready man is his language. His language will indicate that he’s ready for a relationship and if he is ready for a relationship with you. If he is, he’ll start to use more inclusive pronouns.

Instead of “me” and “my”, he’ll say things like “our”, “when WE do this”, “when WE do that” and it’s very inclusive. With my husband, that’s what he did.

When I first met him, he was like, “All this is for you, boo. You can get to decorating, and you can do this.” He was really setting up the vision that I could really get up under, and he would use pronouns like “when WE get married.”

It’s kind of funny too, because when we first met, he said, “I’m going to marry you,” and I remember him telling my mom when he met her for the first time, “I’m going to marry your daughter.”

My mom was like, “Yeah, okay. That’s nice. We’ll see.”

Let my husband tell it, and he’ll let you that he prophesied into my life. Recently he said to me, “I told you I was going to marry you, didn’t I?”

All of this is to say that when a man knows what he wants, he’s going to go for it.

Your part is to be on the lookout and listen to his language. The disadvantage of that, or the other side is that before a man can even begin to use that kind of inclusive language, he has to be:

  • #1 secure within himself
  • #2 Secure within the relationship

So, if he doesn’t feel safe, or he feels that he doesn’t have what it takes to really progress the relationship, this is where you get to come in with your Feminine Allure™ to be able to move things forward. 

These are skills that I teach women within the Feminine Allure Academy, which is a 12-month group coaching program, that starts April 5, 2018. If you want more information it is by invite only, because it’s not for every woman. The problems that I solve may not be your challenge. So, if this is something that appeals to you, I want you to email me at Monique@feminineallureacademy.com. In the subject line, put “Let’s Talk,” and we can take it from there.

The third thing is his leisure time. How does he spend his leisure time? What are his social activities like?

I asked my husband “How can a woman know that a man is relationship-ready?”

This is what he said, “It’s pace and his willingness to slow down.” So, if he’s still talking about the club, the club, the club, the strip club, going out with his buddies … well, going out with his buddies is totally fine, but just be … you’ve got to pay attention. You’ve got to listen to the clues. You gotta watch, look back, observe and not be so anxious all the time.

Ask yourself and reflect.

  • What is he doing in his social life?
  • How does he spend his leisure time? (That can be an indication not only if he’s ready to settle down, or ready to slow down ,but also you can assess whether or not you like how he’s spending his time? Can you manage your emotions around that piece?)
  • Is that the life that you could live with him?

This is just really to open you up, because I know sometimes women can go into “Does he like me? He’s not calling me back,” rather than stepping into the opportunity to really assess compatibility. That’s what it’s about, really assessing and evaluating your compatibilities.

I hope that these three things served you. Number one, consistency; Number two, his language; Number three, his pace or his leisure. Okay?

Go ahead and leave a comment below. What are other ways women can identify a relationship ready man?  I would love to read it.

To Your Enhancement,

Monique

This Is a Predictor of Your Success With Men

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Your success with men is predictable. 

The truth is that some women have what it takes, while others don’t.

Here’s another truth.

Any woman can learn what it takes to date smarter, to feel confident in her ability attract quality men, and to engage with men masterfully, no matter what. 

These are skills that I teach when I work with women privately or in the Feminine Allure Academy, my 12 month group coaching program. 

But, there will be obstacles for you to overcome on your journey to alluring womanhood. Don’t worry though because if you can find joy in the process to becoming… you’re all set. 

In today’s video, I share an interaction that both my husband and I had at my prenatal appointment last week.

This woman made a fatal mistake and it’s one that I’ve been guilty of too. So I wonder, are you making the same mistake in your life right now? 

Take a peek to into the video to discover the simple success indicator and use the test to predict your success with men.

To determine your success with men, you must identify whether or not you come from a place of “yes” or from a place of “no”.

To have successful with men and in life, you must come from a place of yes.

To your enhancement,

Monique

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