3 Reasons Why You’re Not a Quality Man Magnet

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Can I get “momma Monique” on you for a minute please? Because I’m going to keep it real today.
 
Here’s what you’re really saying when you say “I’m not meeting quality men.”
 
But wait…. before I share more, I want you to know that what I’m sharing in the video stems from the challenges I hear you’re experiencing when it comes to your love life, but they can be applied to business as well.
 
In fact, this idea came not only from my conversations with you, but also from my own challenges with attracting more of my ideal clients.
 
Since my philosophy is that marketing principles apply to relationships because people want to know they’re getting a good deal, I have no qualms in sharing my current challenges and the mindset required to move past them.
 
So when I hear “I can’t afford it” or “it’s too expensive,” I liken it to being friend-zoned because I know you think I’m a great gal. You read these messages and watch the videos, etc. Sure, you’ll take when you can get, but you’re not ready to commit.
 
Here’s where personal responsibility comes in. Here’s what you’re really saying when you say, “I’m not meeting quality men.”
 
What you’re really saying is that you don’t know what you want, because if you knew what you wanted, you’d know where to find; or, at least know how to avail yourself to it.

 
So in today’s video, I share a behind-the-scenes approach of what this looks like for me right now in business as I reconsider how to attract more of my ideal, quality clients. And, I share what you can do, right now, to become a magnet for quality men.
 
I hope this serves you.
 
To your enhancement,
Monique

The Confidence Required To Hold Quality Men in Your Life

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Lately, I’ve been having more conversations with potential clients. When I ask, “What’s stopping you from getting the type of results that you want?” a common answer that I’m hearing right now is, “What if I don’t know what to do with it? What if actually get what I want? I’ve been so stuck in the story and in this position in life that I’m not really sure if I have what it takes to be able to maintain a relationship.”

So, in today’s video I want to talk about what happens when you actually get the thing that you want, the thing that you say you want for yourself, because this could be applied to so many areas of your life.

Here’s a simple example of what it looked like for me.

I’ve been married for two and a half years. When we got engaged, I just remember wanting a yellow gold ring with a thick band and a big stone. That was it.

Guess what?

I got exactly that. Here’s the thing, he’s what started happening. One of the things that I told my husband, because I didn’t pick out my ring, he asked me what I wanted and I shared it. I wanted something that was very artistic, but not really common… something that was beautiful. I didn’t want anything that was gawdy.

When we had gotten engaged and I would share people would say, “Well, let me see your ring.” And they didn’t say, “Oh it’s pretty. Oh it’s beautiful.” They would say things like, “Oh. It’s so big.”

Now I’m a big girl and have big hands so that was really important for me. And they were just like, “Oh, hmm. Oh, it’s so big.”

I got really uncomfortable.

And in that discomfort I started to think about, “Well, what are they thinking about?” And then I remember going to my husband who was my fiance at that time and I would say things like, “Babe. No one’s saying it’s pretty. They’re just saying like, oh my gosh it’s so big. And they’re counting our money. And, they’re hiding their own fingers. And they’re doing this and doing that.”

And my husband was like, “Now, see I knew that was too much for you. I knew I should have trained you for how people were going respond.”

And I’m thinking like, “No. I think I can hold this. I’m good.” But I felt discomfort.

And I remember reading something somebody posted that was in the executive lounge at the airport. And as soon as she stepped in there, everyone was just staring and looking at her. And she was like, “Wow, I say I want to be rich, and I want to be wealthy, and I want this lifestyle, but I don’t know if I can take all of this attention.”

Here’s the lesson for you.

Are you stuck in your story and how you see yourself?

It’s about understanding what happens on the other side of resistance, and how to be able to hold that power, because that’s what it’s really about. Oftentimes women like us experience discomfort because we feel as though we have to become someone new.

If you don’t have what you want, and you know the reason is fear of success, fear of failure, or fear of not being able to maintain what you want. Or, fear that you have to become someone new… what you have to do in order to get to the other side of discomfort is lean into it.

Lean into the resistance. Lean into the discomfort. Lean into the possibility and home girl lean into love.

This is for you! It’s the universal law of polarity, which states that if you want something, if you have a desire for something, the way to bring forth that desire is also present. What you really need is a safe container and some accountability in order to get you there.

Sidenote: I was just speaking with my client Cyndi and she was like, “What is Monique talking about this “safe container?” And now she gets it. She even revealed to me, “I don’t think I’m ever going to be without coaching, now that I’ve been working with you.”

Having a mentor or coach grows you. It expands you into possibility when someone holds a vision for you. What can happen for you when you begin to lean into your vision?

In order for you to get what you want, you have to be able to own your influence, own your power, own your femininity, and be able to hold space for that, hold space for love, hold space for more money, hold space for leadership, or whatever it is that you want because guess what?

It’s all about your ability to hold a vibration, which will either help you to attract or push away your desires.

You have to get powerful. You have to step into awareness so that your energy, your capacity, is big enough to handle everything that you want.

Start right now girlfriend. Honor your desire to be claimed, and get used to it.

Don’t run from it, run to it. That’s what my husband used to tell me. “Don’t run from this girl, run to it.” And that’s what I’m going to leave you with because it’s one thing to say that you want something and actually get it and be like, “I don’t think I want this.”

I want to help you. If you’re a marriage minded woman who’s been through some tough times that you’ve healed from, but it’s left you a little rough about the edges and you struggle with love because of it, we need to talk.

Schedule your Breakthrough Call here.

“If I’m Too Successful, My Spouse Will Leave”

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“Monique, why are you hiding?”


“Am I hiding? I don’t think that I’m hiding, am I?”


That was a conversation between my mentor and me sometime in January 2016. It was my first full-time year in my business of serving women like you. You’re marriage-minded, you’re a woman of faith, and you really desire to be in a committed relationship. And you struggle with just being vulnerable, trusting, letting your guard down, attracting quality men.

So what I do is that I help you by teaching you skills that helps you to attract and communicate with a right men and then use these same skills in other areas of your life.


Now, fast forward to November of 2017. I was in Florida for an event, it was a mindset event, it’s called The Mindset Retreat, and we were identifying some of our limiting beliefs that keep business owners playing small. We were there and the host had at least 100 limiting beliefs on the screen… everything from, “If I make too much money, I’ll have to pay more taxes.”, or, “If I’m visible, I’ll get rejected, people would talk about me.”


For me, a lot of them really didn’t resonate, to be honest. I probably identified about eight total limiting beliefs. Some of the people knew had at least 20 or 30. But, there was one in particular that stood out and that resonated and that really jolted my spirit and it was really jarring.


It read, “If I’m too successful, my spouse will leave.”


I stood up, because I was triggered by it, and then I sat down. When I sat down, it was quiet and the only thing you could hear was, “Woooo huuuugh,” and that was me crying an ugly, snot nose cry.


What I realized was that there was this chemical release that was happening in the form of tears, and I identified that as a limiting belief.


Now, when my mentor said back in 2016, “Monique, why are you hiding?” I didn’t think that I was. And even at this event, one of the coaches sort of introduced me to say, “Hey, this is Monique, she’s gonna be on Oprah.” Or, when I speak to women, you know, when I speak to potential clients, they’ll say things like, “Oh my gosh, I need to get my money right. I need to work with you before you blow up.” And I’m like, “Yeah, before I raise these rates.”

 

So I’m saying this to say that people see something within me that I also see within myself, and yet, at the same time I have not been living up to that expectation.


One of the things that my mentor revealed to me, she said, “Monique, your people are waiting for you. You have to step up.”


And I’m like, “I am stepping up. I’m being visible, what more can I do?” She was like, “No, you need to step up. Your people are waiting for you.”


Here’s what I want you to know. Number one, it’s really important that you get a mentor, someone who can lovingly call you out when you’re BS, your belief system. Call you out on those limiting beliefs, because guess what? Every woman has a story.


For me, this limiting belief came up in a form of, “If I’m too successful, my spouse will leave, even though it’s ridiculous.


It’s absolutely ridiculous in the bigger scheme of things. And, when I shared this with my husband when I returned from that trip, he hugged me, and he comforted me and he reminded me of our goals.

 

My husband and I are both business owners and our wish is that whoever pops first, whoever makes it big first, we are sowing into the other person’s vision and that’s just it.


I had to acknowledge, where does this belief come from? Where did I see it?
Remember, I come from a single parent home, my parents divorced when I was around 4 or 5. And, to be honest with you, I don’t remember growing up seeing successful women who were happily married.


I had made a decision, somewhere within there, that I am not sacrificing family, legacy, generational wealth, a spirit of excellence, and the harvest, the seeds, for what’s traditionally called “success”.


Yet, I was reminded that this is a part of my Christ-mandate, and guess what? I CAN have it all.

So can you!


The first thing that I want you to know is that you want to get aligned with a mentor who can lovingly call you out on your belief system, who has a higher vision for you, who sees greatness in you and can pull you up to that.


The second thing that you have to do, which is what I’m doing in 2018, is that you have to make a decision.


Cause guess what? Just like my people are waiting for me, the man that you want is waiting for you too.


When I first moved to St. Louis in 2009 from Detroit and I met my husband in 2012, he would always say things like, “I wonder if God brought you to St. Louis to meet me?” And I was like, “Yeah, God brought me here so I can change your life.” My husband and I kind of banter like that.


The point is men are waiting for you to take your place. I remember even making a video about this in, like, 2013. Men are waiting for you to step up and claim your place, because they’re waiting for the modifying influence of the right woman. That’s what Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich.
You have influence, you have impact. You influence men more than they influence you, and you have to step up.

So, what is it that you need to heal within yourself?

Together, let’s commit together to having it all. Let’s commit to visibility. Let’s commit to everything that your heart wants and desires in 2018 and beyond.

Right now, I’m on this philosophy that marketing principles apply to relationships, because people want to get a good deal. I’m hosting a Masterclass that I want you to come.

It’s called Saved, Successful and Single. There’s a connection in the vibration that you hold that will help you to attract or push away both men and money. It’s a vibration.

On this Masterclass I’ve assembled some experts, and we’re going to be revealing the secrets, so that you can attract the right man and attract more money, should your soul desire, in 2018.

That’s my big vision for you, is to love without limitation, to step into visibility, to remove the limiting beliefs, and to remove the love blocks.

This is something I’m also working on, because guess what? No woman is exceptional all by herself. Iron sharpens iron.

If this story speaks to you, if it appeals to you, go ahead and click on the link below, and you’ll be redirected. We’re going to start January 8th

Saved Successful Single

I’m looking forward to having you join us! 

To your success,

Monique

 

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