Hello, beautiful. Hey, girl. It’s Monique Head here. This week I was actually in Florida… Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida. I was there to get my mind right. I want to get my mind right so I can show up more powerfully for you. Right?
I have coaches. It’s important for us, as women, to have coaches and mentors in our life who can really help to get us to the next level.
Today, I wanted to really speak about confidence because one of the things that my mentor shared with me that I really want to share with you is that confidence doesn’t come by waiting. Just like passion comes through exposure, you find out what you’re passionate about by being exposed to different things, confidence comes from taking bold action.
Just really putting your foot forward, taking a step, and seeing what happens. Whether you feel like it’s a pass or a fail, the fact that you had taken a step, a bold step, those are the types of things that build confidence.
I know in my last video to you I shared three ways that you can feel more confident around men that you find attractive because what typically happens is that if there’s a guy that we don’t like, we can show up with a little bit more pizazz. But as soon as there’s someone that we like, we go …
We get kind of scary and timid. But before you can even get to that, you have to show up more boldly and more confidently in your life as the alluring, magnetic, polished, confident woman.
The way that you do that is to take inventory of the areas in your life where you stepped out, you stepped out on faith. For me, man, there’s so many things. For me, that meant … studying abroad in college, that was something that sparked my desire to take a trip outside the US every two years.
That also looked like applying to law school. I applied to 21 law schools, and I keep getting some messages about “Talk about law school.” I’m going to save that for a different video, but I applied to 21 law schools and I had got into one conditionally. I don’t even know where my placement was when I graduated because I stopped looking.
I mention that to say, you just got to go for it because I could have waited, got a better score on my LSAT, but why not? I just go for it. The opportunity was there.
That also looked like losing weight, releasing 38 pounds almost 10 years ago. I remember when I had done my very first blog post about being a size 16, pushing 18. Guess what? I’m a size 16 again.
When I started doing these videos, I don’t know. I could have been like a size 10 or something like that. Then, I started hiding because my confidence was shot because I was afraid that people would say… that you would say, “Dang, you see Monique?”
Remember … what’s his name? 50 Cent? In one of his songs, he was like “In high school you was the man. What the eff happened to you?” I was afraid that women would start judging. But, I had to be mindful because that was really my judgment that I placed on myself and other women. I’d be like “Well dang. You seen her? She put on some weight. What’s going on?”
Another confidence booster for me was entering the Miss Michigan USA pageant, and being the Top 10 Finalist. It looks like running a half marathon. My very first time, I ran a half marathon. I’m getting ready to train for that one next year. Yeah, in 2018. I say all of this to say that you get confidence not my waiting.
Confidence comes by putting your foot in front of the other and making a decision. That’s what it is. Make a decision.
That’s one of the most powerful things that a woman can do: make a decision and the act on that. Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no.
Here’s your next step.
What I want you to do is to begin to make a list. Take an inventory, a confidence inventory, and make a list of all of those things that you have accomplished because when I work with women, you’ve got to come up to me with some sense of accomplishment, some sense of things where you feel confident.
That may mean giving birth, having your children, raising your children. That might mean giving birth without medication. How about that?
That might mean … listen, if you’re a physician, you had to go through school and residency and everything else that comes with that. If you have saved your company thousands and millions of dollars or you implemented something that helped to affect that company’s bottom line, be proud of that. You know your worth. Be proud of that.
If you’ve released weight, if you can cook. Girl, if you can throw down, you’re responsible for the holiday dinners. That’s something to be proud of because you, everybody don’t have that gift now.
If you traveled, if you traveled to different countries, if you give, if you serve, if you sing, if you can sing in front of people, if feel like you can perform at the drop of a hat and not shy away, that’s an accomplishment. I want you to put that in your confidence inventory. Okay?
Because what that’s going to do is to help to remind you of who you are because maybe you’re at a point in your life where you’re like “I thought that I would have had this part together, I would have had my man, I would have been married, I would have had children.”
You want that companion, but you’re not showing up confidently. Men are drawn to confident women, women who are whole, women who know themselves because guess what? They want to know that you’re not looking to them to escape your own life.
Your assignment: Take that confidence inventory. That’s what I want you to do. Take that confidence inventory and post below. What are you proud of?
I would love to see what you wrote. Okay?
To your enhancement,