Lately, I’ve been having more conversations with potential clients. When I ask, “What’s stopping you from getting the type of results that you want?” a common answer that I’m hearing right now is, “What if I don’t know what to do with it? What if actually get what I want? I’ve been so stuck in the story and in this position in life that I’m not really sure if I have what it takes to be able to maintain a relationship.”
So, in today’s video I want to talk about what happens when you actually get the thing that you want, the thing that you say you want for yourself, because this could be applied to so many areas of your life.
Here’s a simple example of what it looked like for me.
I’ve been married for two and a half years. When we got engaged, I just remember wanting a yellow gold ring with a thick band and a big stone. That was it.
I got exactly that. Here’s the thing, he’s what started happening. One of the things that I told my husband, because I didn’t pick out my ring, he asked me what I wanted and I shared it. I wanted something that was very artistic, but not really common… something that was beautiful. I didn’t want anything that was gawdy.
When we had gotten engaged and I would share people would say, “Well, let me see your ring.” And they didn’t say, “Oh it’s pretty. Oh it’s beautiful.” They would say things like, “Oh. It’s so big.”
Now I’m a big girl and have big hands so that was really important for me. And they were just like, “Oh, hmm. Oh, it’s so big.”
I got really uncomfortable.
And in that discomfort I started to think about, “Well, what are they thinking about?” And then I remember going to my husband who was my fiance at that time and I would say things like, “Babe. No one’s saying it’s pretty. They’re just saying like, oh my gosh it’s so big. And they’re counting our money. And, they’re hiding their own fingers. And they’re doing this and doing that.”
And my husband was like, “Now, see I knew that was too much for you. I knew I should have trained you for how people were going respond.”
And I’m thinking like, “No. I think I can hold this. I’m good.” But I felt discomfort.
And I remember reading something somebody posted that was in the executive lounge at the airport. And as soon as she stepped in there, everyone was just staring and looking at her. And she was like, “Wow, I say I want to be rich, and I want to be wealthy, and I want this lifestyle, but I don’t know if I can take all of this attention.”
Here’s the lesson for you.
Are you stuck in your story and how you see yourself?
It’s about understanding what happens on the other side of resistance, and how to be able to hold that power, because that’s what it’s really about. Oftentimes women like us experience discomfort because we feel as though we have to become someone new.
If you don’t have what you want, and you know the reason is fear of success, fear of failure, or fear of not being able to maintain what you want. Or, fear that you have to become someone new… what you have to do in order to get to the other side of discomfort is lean into it.
Lean into the resistance. Lean into the discomfort. Lean into the possibility and home girl lean into love.
This is for you! It’s the universal law of polarity, which states that if you want something, if you have a desire for something, the way to bring forth that desire is also present. What you really need is a safe container and some accountability in order to get you there.
Sidenote: I was just speaking with my client Cyndi and she was like, “What is Monique talking about this “safe container?” And now she gets it. She even revealed to me, “I don’t think I’m ever going to be without coaching, now that I’ve been working with you.”
Having a mentor or coach grows you. It expands you into possibility when someone holds a vision for you. What can happen for you when you begin to lean into your vision?
In order for you to get what you want, you have to be able to own your influence, own your power, own your femininity, and be able to hold space for that, hold space for love, hold space for more money, hold space for leadership, or whatever it is that you want because guess what?
It’s all about your ability to hold a vibration, which will either help you to attract or push away your desires.
You have to get powerful. You have to step into awareness so that your energy, your capacity, is big enough to handle everything that you want.
Start right now girlfriend. Honor your desire to be claimed, and get used to it.
Don’t run from it, run to it. That’s what my husband used to tell me. “Don’t run from this girl, run to it.” And that’s what I’m going to leave you with because it’s one thing to say that you want something and actually get it and be like, “I don’t think I want this.”
I want to help you. If you’re a marriage minded woman who’s been through some tough times that you’ve healed from, but it’s left you a little rough about the edges and you struggle with love because of it, we need to talk.