True or False? I’m still single because I haven’t found the right man.

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If you answered “true”, I’m here to bust that notion. Just hear me out. Open your heart and let this sink in.

This weekend my fiancée went on a snowboarding trip with his frat brother. I was pretty geeked to have the house to myself and to get some things done, but at the same time, I was feeling “some kind of way.”

I refrained from calling because I wanted to respect his freedom. But, I was also “testing” to see how often he’d call me. (Don’t judge me. I know you’ve done it too.) When he called, he mentioned that they were off the mountain and looking for a hotel.

Hotel?! You’re just now looking for a hotel?!

“So where’d you stay last night?”

“We stayed at his sister’s house?”

Sister? What’s going on?!

I didn’t know he had a sister”

Silent Pause

“Yea. Me neither.”

“Hmm… Ok….Alright. Is she married?”

“No”

“Does she live alone?”

Gosh, he’s gonna be on to me and my questioning

“Ahhh… what’s up with the questions?”

Dang… I slipped. Feminine allure exposed. My legal training makes for great business sense, but the skills I learned in law school don’t make for romance.

Naturally, I am a very curious person. I like details, but I could feel myself getting suspicious and unsettled. For fear of making an ass of myself any further, especially while he was in the car with his buddy, I told him that I was feeling uneasy and that I needed to rest. Afterward, I texted him to call me when he had a moment of privacy.

When we got off the phone, my mind started RACING. Racing! You hear me? As I mentioned in my video, we women have different triggers, different experiences that have left us with a hole in our heart. In that brief conversation, I felt left in the dark.

But to be honest, other than not knowing his frat had a sister, I had no reason to allow my mind to race. I decided to exercise my faith muscles instead of trying to fill the gaps and trying to put the pieces together in my head.

You know, the brain will go into survival mode and try to make sense of something that makes no sense at all. It’s intended to keep us safe. But, rather than feeling safe we go into overdrive, thinking:

  • Where is he?
  • What’s he doing?
  • Who’s he with?
  • Why hasn’t he called?
  • When will he propose?

We walk in the flesh, but we are not at war with flesh, so when this happens, you must hold those thoughts captive. You must cast down those imaginations because it doesn’t align with the knowledge of God, and it’s evidence that we’re not walking in faith.

If you think that you’re still single because you haven’t found the right man, I’d like to you reconsider the reason you believe you’re still single. The truth is, part of what keeps you single is lack of faith. The other part is fear of the unknown.

 

Fear of the unknown was at the core of my suspicion and my hurt. It confined me in a place that I do not want to return, EVER. When I operated in that mode, I felt imprisoned… in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction, mental torment, and always being on guard, looking for the next thing to go wrong just so I could be like “I knew it.”

I felt myself becoming bitter and cynical. I felt myself becoming the proverbial angry black woman. Yuck! That ain’t even me.

Do you know what’s underlying how you’ve been showing up? Do you really know what’s at the root of what’s keeping you anxious, lonely, and exhausted?

Here’s my message to you. Being a polished woman who has an AMAZING love life requires you to let go of the need to know what’s coming next.  Operating in the “what’s next” mode of being allows resentment and exhaustion to set in where enchantment and tenderness belong.

It’s time to wrap your head around the uncertainty and your fear of the unknown. It’s time to understand how it’s impacting you and influencing your love life. It’s time to remove your armor.

Getting to the bottom of why you’re still single is important so that you can allow yourself to be present so that men can experience the alluring woman you are. Your presence is a gift offering to the masculine man.

Do you understand the arousal that men get just by being in the presence of a feminine and alluring woman?

My girl, you don’t have to push your agenda, ask millions of questions, or hint in hopes that you’ll get some kind of an answer.

The mysteries of God’s kingdom don’t work that way. Everything you need to know will be revealed to you through grace. This is coming from a poised, polished, and confident woman who’s been through these things and found a fulfilling life and relationship on the other side.

This is a skill set that I’ve worked to develop in myself (though I still get stuck in the mud sometimes) and that I want to develop in you in my Polish Your Potential program.

I’m on a mission to help you access your power so that you can more easily cultivate a loving relationship that turns you on, allows you to blossom, and offers you peace of mind.

You can do thisI believe in you.

To your enhancement,

Monique

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