What pageants taught me about potential

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I waited, impatiently, outside the hotel room for the pageant coordinator to signal to me that it was my turn to be interviewed by the judges for the Ms. Pre-Teen Detroit Pageant. I was 11 years old.

“Please let me win Lord. Please let me do good on this interview so I can win.” I prayed as I entered the room.

A mother-daughter duo served as the judges.

I tried my best to prepare for any and ALL questions they could’ve asked me. I was prepared to tell them why I deserved to win. I was prepared to share my goals of wanting to be the first black woman president… or a dentist… or an anchorwoman.

 I was ready, or at least I thought I was. What happened next was unimaginable.

“Hi, you must be really excited to be here”

“Yes, I am.”

“So Monique, tell us about yourself.”

Hmm?! What do you mean “tell you about myself?” Oh gosh. I thought I was here to tell you about my future ambitions, how I’m going to save the world, and why I deserve to win.


 Think fast.

 Deafening silence.

 “Well, I’m from Detroit, I have four brothers, aaannnnd… I’m 11.”

 Oh my gosh, I’m not going to win this.

 At that moment, my heart began to hurt. Everything after that was a blur.

When I left the room, I was greeted by my mother, and I burst into tears immediately. Despite my preparation, I felt like a failure. How dare they ask me such a simple question? Who does that?

What I learned from that moment was the importance of being able to speak about myself and my desires eloquently. But, that would only come from knowing myself and what I really wanted.

There I was, thinking that winning the title was going to change me and my future, but what would make me a great candidate if I couldn’t even tell the judges what makes me tick, what stirs my passion, and explain the vision that I hold for myself?

That may seem like a lot for an eleven year old girl, but there are plenty young girls who have been trained to speak about themselves. They participate in activities that feed and foster their confidence so they have no choice but to share it with excitement.

As I look back on my younger self, I see with certainty the importance of having a vision for myself and being clear about what I wanted. In that moment, what I wanted was to win the crown. But, my bigger vision when I was 11 was to be a confident, successful woman.

My young girl desires were to look good, get good grades, go to college, wear nice suits to work, marry a good looking successful man, and birth a healthy family. Winning the crown could’ve helped along my path.

My desires haven’t changed and to be honest, it doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 84, much of our core feminine desires don’t change.

What I didn’t know then, but what I know now is that “you have to figure out what you want for yourself first before you can lock anyone else into your dreams”- Kristine Gasbarre.

This applied to my pageant experience, but I want you to apply it to your life and relationships.

The women who win at life are the ones who concentrate on their own potential and polish it daily.

Polishing your potential means developing yourself as a woman to access your feminine allure. Operating in your feminine allure helps you feel valuable and empowered in your everyday and in your relationship. It creates the foundation you need to get the very best results from your life.

As a woman, one of the most powerful things you can gift yourself is the ‘know how” to make excellent decisions for yourself. This requires the courage to invest in yourself, sometimes financially. It requires participating in activities that challenge you, that develop your talents and cultivates your secret garden.

When you have this, you can bring something positive to another person’s life. This, my dear, is a part of your feminine gift offering.

Little did I know that that particular pageant experience was polishing me. It sure didn’t look like it, and it definitely didn’t feel like it when I was crying. But you can believe I was prepared to learn and share more about myself, my likes, my activities, my dislikes, and why.

When you focus on becoming your fullest potential in your everyday, then the rewards are yours for the reaping. The key is to not allow the nervous feeling to prevent you from going forward.

For me, that experience that felt like failure in the moment, guided me to the path of practice. The practice of concentrating on my own potential which helps to access the power within.

But, how about you? What do you want to feel or experience. Who do you want to become?

If you feel engaged in this conversation and you want to learn more about developing your feminine gift offering in your life or relationship, we should talk.

Right now, I’m taking on a small number of women to work with me personally so that they can see themselves not as they are, but the woman they can become. If this sounds like you, let’s talk.

Click here to book a complimentary Awaken Your Allure Discovery Session with me and let’s come up with some tactics get you on the Path of Practice.

 Book your time to speak with me now!

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